By what you say and what you do, you can help your partner become the best version of themselves. One of the beautiful parts of a good relationship is when each person sees their partner’s potential and helps that potential blossom.
Many people who are successful today will say that one of the reasons they’re successful is because their partner helped them realize their abilities.
Edward thought Mary was smart, talented and had everything going for her. He couldn’t understand what was holding her back from pursuing more education that could help her get ahead in her career.
Then he remembered when he didn’t have the confidence to pursue an education in business because his fears held him back. Voices in his head kept telling him he wasn’t good enough. To avoid failing, he avoided trying.
He eventually pushed himself to overcome those fears and thought Mary should do the same. Then he remembered how he had wished someone would have encouraged him and how Mary had said she wished her parents had encouraged her more. He decided it was now his job to help bring out the abilities that he saw Mary had.
He started encouraging her to apply to university. He talked positively about her talents and the smart things she had done that impressed him. “I see you have the ability,” he said. She applied to university, got accepted and thrived.
Helping your partner achieve their dreams
A lot of people have aspirations that remain dreams because they think they aren’t able to achieve them. A person can bring out the best in their partner by encouraging them to talk about their aspirations and helping them pursue their dreams.
Lisa’s dream was to be a motivational speaker to help people succeed in sales. She wanted to share her inspiring stories about the challenges she overcame.
Her partner Jack thought she could motivate a lot of people. But she had a fear of public speaking that was holding her back. Jack decided he would help Lisa overcome that fear.
He worked with her to develop her presentation. Lisa practiced it in front of him and he provided feedback. Then she presented it in front of a small group of friends. When she was ready, she presented it at a meeting of the sales staff at the company where she worked. They loved her presentation. She started presenting it at other companies and at sales conferences. She was surprised how the more groups she spoke to, the better she became at something she thought she couldn’t do.
Bring out their best in a positive way
Joan wanted Michael to dress better not only for her sake, but she wanted him to look his best to help him get ahead in his career. Instead of criticizing the way he dressed, she had a better plan. One day they were out for a drive and Joan said, “There’s a great store that I want you to see.”
The store she took him to was a men’s clothing outlet store that has high-end clothes at discount prices. She chose some shirts and told Michael to try them on.
When he tried on each one, she said, “You look so handsome.” He bought all the shirts she chose. He later went to that store on his own to buy clothes. Joan was happy and Michael felt more confident at work. He was grateful to her for helping him become a better dresser.
Help bring out their best in difficult situations
Wendy was so worried about losing her job she couldn’t sleep. Roy told her, “This is what I did when I was worried about losing my job. I made a written plan of what I would do from day one in case I lost my job. First on the plan was the names of people I would contact that could help me find a job and the skills I have that they would be interested in.”
“We’ll write a plan so you don’t have to carry that worry in your mind. This way you can sleep at night. If you do lose your job, you’re ready.”
Roy reminded her of something Mark Twain said, “I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.”
They created the plan. Wendy didn’t lose her job but writing the plan led her to think about looking for another job. She started contacting the people on her plan and found a new and better job. With Roy’s help, a stressful situation led Wendy to improve her situation.
You are true partners when each person is dedicated to the other’s success.
To receive a free chapter from each of Elliott Katz’s two relationship advice books, email him: ElliottRKatz@aol.com His book Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man—which was translated into 24 languages—shares insights on how men can improve their relationships by being an emotionally strong man that a woman loves and respects. How to Get Your Man to Wear the Pants … So You Don’t Have To: Inspiring him to make more decisions, take the lead and STOP LEAVING IT ALL TO YOU! is full of strategies on how to get a man to do his share of taking charge. If you have questions or are interested in coaching: www.ElliottKatz.com
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